When Healing isn't easy...

When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?”

John 5:6 

 

I've always wondered what possessed Jesus to ask the question above. Of course the lame man would want to get well, I thought, who wouldn't? But that man had been that way a long time and likely gotten used to his role. If he was healed, that would all change. He'd probably have to get a job, learn to engage with those around him, and find ways to provide for himself instead of off the charity of others. 

He'd be thrust in to change, and Jesus was readying him because change is uncomfortable.

Right now I'm in a season of healing, change, and hope. Things are happening, but instead of just joy there's this other feeling. 

Awkwardness.

There are new roles to get used to, feelings to process, beliefs to challenge, and sometimes it all feels like too much. Like clothes that are just a bit too tight. It's all new territory and it feels strange, and sometimes the temptation to go back is so strong because at the very least, I know what's back there.  

The unknown is scary. I knew how to be the other person. I have no idea how to be the one that's being healed. 

It's a process, a journey that requires me to daily depend on God for the next steps because I don't have the map. Thankfully He's more than happy to do that.

{Plus I'm pretty sure it's all a giant setup to teach me to let go of control.}  

Deuteronomy 1:33 who went ahead of you on your journey, in fire by night and in a cloud by day, to search out places for you to camp and to show you the way you should go.