7 But I tell you the truth, it is to your advantage that I go away; for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you; but if I go, I will send Him to you.
I sit at the wheel, my mind turning.
It's a long drive and I had ample time to think. My mind wanders onto all the things that I need to work on as I cruise I-35. As I think, my heart takes a beating of lies about how much I have to work on, what a mess I am, and the biggest problem--it feels okay. I'm supposed to be introspective, I think. How else will I grow if I cannot face things head on?
---The lies we are most likely to believe are the ones that are only a hairline off from the truth. Self-introspection is one of these. It seems right, progressive even, to be self-actualized.
The problem is that when we rely on ourselves to know ourselves, we become our own source of information.
There's the line.
Self-introspection focuses on what we know, which is vastly insufficient. And ultimately self-introspection leads to condemnation and shame, because we cannot be our own source of healing.
Thankfully we were given a gift, the Holy Spirit, to search our hearts and to shed light in the places of our hearts that need tweaking. A relationship with Him leads us to a place of freedom and healing. His heart surgery is gentle and effective, his methods full of comfort, hope, and redemption.
This is how we grow-- through relationship with the right Source. And this is the lesson I'm learning, to put down the 'find the flaw' game, to rest in His presence, and to trust in His process, instead of my own.
I think it's then, and only then that real healing can take place.