Marriage Mondays: Dancing On (Patience)
Every Monday I'll be joining The Runamuck and a host of other married bloggers in writing letters to our spouses. My hope in this is to join the race that is the whole "two become one" thing and to watch others who are in the running along with me. Marriage is hard, complicated, messy, terrifying, and beautiful. And it's worth fighting and writing for.
'Patience' is a fruit of the spirit that I struggle with. I always have. I'm a headstrong, face forward, trail blazer that doesn't always see room for that "p" word. Our whirlwind engagement and marriage says that you're all in with me in that way. You get me like nobody ever could. You know that I fight hard but love harder.
We're both stubborn. But stubborn isn't always a bad word is it? We both know that because without it you and I, this thing we're in may have been lost. Lost to bad choices and hot tempers. We could have been a statistic, but we kept on. I think stubbornness is just scrappy, grungy patience, patience with an edge to it, not kind or gentle, but grips you fiercely and won't let go. It's gotten us through those difficult first few years, years filled with both petty and substantial arguments. It's helped us through the mire, muck so deep we both felt the illustrious pull of anger and bitterness.
But stubborn can also be bad. This my love, this is where you are a marathon runner in the patience realm. Sometimes I hold onto the wrong things, and you have held on with me, watching me make choices that ended up putting others first and you last, and yet you stayed. You loved me despite those things. You didn't push or lecture. You watched, waited, and prayed. This kind of grace, your grace, I'm so grateful for. Your enduring patience changed me from the inside out and from the overflow, I'm able to give it back now. Now you need my patience and grace.
In the dance of marriage who can say who stepped on who's toe first? Was it me? Was it you? The glorious thing about our union is that it doesn't really matter because....
We dance on.
And I will dance with you until the end of time, and I'm confident in this, that you will dance on with me through it all, patiently, kindly, gracefully. The dance isn't always easy and the moves aren't always smooth, but I wouldn't trade the opportunity to do this thing with you for the world.
I am forever yours,
Find links to other marriage letters here. You can post your own and link back.
oh.my.word. I LOVE your line, "I think stubbornness is just scrappy, grungy patience, patience with an edge to it, not kind or gentle, but grips you fiercely and won't let go." You know what? Sometimes that's EXACTLY what we need. Perhaps it's because I'm a little like this myself that I see it's beauty :)ReplyDelete
beautiful. Thank you for joining us!ReplyDelete
"you know that i fight hard but love harder."ReplyDelete
loved that. me, too.
My husband is a marathon runner too when it comes to patience. And ditto on Tara's comment, love that line, read it twice.ReplyDelete
hmm, your words make me think that patience is just grace made visible. and no, stubborn isn't such a bad word...not when it allows you to hold on and not give up! lovely post!ReplyDelete