On inner vows and overcoming fears..

Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.

-- Fulton Oursler

Has this ever happened to you?

Recently I set out to try a venture into a new field, one I've dabbled in here and there but haven't ever had the time to take seriously. It's a risk, and it requires me to constantly put myself out there in front of people.

At first glance that may not seem like a problem. My mom always told people I could talk to a brick wall, and that's pretty accurate. But deep down I always have this lingering question; will they like me? Will I fail? What IF I fail?

This question, this trepidation; it often trumps any risks I have thought about taking. In my head plays the familiar tune of fear and anxiety. It goes something like this:

What a great opportunity!

But wait, what if I fail?!

Oh man, I'm definitely going to fail!

*visions of failing the fifth grade spelling bee and puking all over the teacher come to mind, and vividly.*

I told myself I'd never do that again!

Suddenly, something that seemed altogether doable, seems impossible all because I failed once and vowed that I'd save myself the pain of failing in the future.

This has, for years kept me from pursuing opportunities and from finishing others. But today was different.

Yes, anxiety came and so did those inner vows I'd made so long ago. My breath started to shorten and suddenly I was contemplating hiding under my sheets forever. But this time I did something differently. I took my "stuff" to God.

Instantly the anxiety dissipated and that old familiar tune of anxiety and fear gave way. It wasn't about reciting scripture, meditating, or prayer. It was about having a complete encounter with Him, one that left me healed and restored.

What have you put off because of fear? What opportunities have you missed because of an experience in that past? Whatever it is, take it to God. Don't let it stop you from becoming the true you for another second!

I may always stay away from spelling bees, but now I have the confidence to go out there and put myself if front of people because I know I have a God who is for me.