If only

Three years ago I really wanted something. I prayed for it, I asked for it, I pined for it. I thought if I could just have this one very important thing life would be complete, the heavens would open, and clouds of angels would sing. I thought, If only I had this...life would be complete. People prophesied over me, prayed for me, and today, today I finally received what I'd so been waiting for. Was it great? Absolutely. It was marvelous, but did I suddenly feel different, complete, whole, happy, satiated? No. I started to wonder why this was, why this thing that I was so sure would finally give me satisfaction, really didn't mean all that much. Paul said that he'd learned to be content in all situations, from poverty to riches, from freedom to imprisonment. He wasn't waiting on that one thing to make him happy. No, Paul knew that anything earthly that brought happiness was only temporary, but that lasting contentment could only be gained through one source. Today I attended a memorial for a man that found his 'easy yoke', his freedom, and he carried that everywhere. No matter what situation he was in, he was joyful and free. He was a man that was so free he could fully and easily engage with anyone he spoke with. I don't think he had a list of if only's. He didn't wait for that one thing to be happy, because he discovered the only thing he needed: God. I don't want to spend my life living in the If only's. I want to live my life in the freedom of Christ, enjoying every moment of life, every second. I want to be free to fully engage people, to love, to laugh, to live. Tonight I was reminded that life here on earth is temporary and we don't have time for the if only's. And I'm also reminded that the If only's don't matter so much, in light of eternity.