Why we hide...

8 Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. 9 But the LORD God called to the man, "Where are you?"
10 He answered, "I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid."

Gensis, Chapter 3

For months now I've been in a dry season of my own making. Living water has been flowing, but I've been deliberately avoiding it. I'm like a child who's caught being naughty, I run, I hide, and I flee from the very source that wishes only to comfort me. But when I read Genesis I know that this is unfortunately an altogether common reaction, and that I'll neither be the first nor the last to realize that I'm hiding.

What exactly were Adam and Even hiding from that day? They'd walked with God Himself in the cool of the day, they knew him better than any human can, they knew of His love and His faithfulness, and yet they hid. Were they afraid of punishment? Of a wrathful God? Or was it their own shame that they ran from? Their own insecurities, their own lies?

I think God's next question and their response answer that. God asks them simply why they were hiding. God, the omniscient, omnipresent being is asking them to tell Him what they've done. Like any good Father, he's simply asking them to "fess up." He's asking for repentance, for any sign that they're remorseful, but no sign appears. It's quite the opposite in fact. Adam blames Eve for his defiance, Eve blames the serpent, and nobody seems to be taking responsibility for their own actions. There's no repentance here. Their hearts have gone hard, and they are thus banished from the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve's folly are repeated from generation to generation until one baby boy is born and the old law is banished.

Even now, even under the Reign of Grace, we respond as if we don't know that all we must do, all we need to do is repent and turn back to God. It's our own pride that we risk hurting when we do that, because we have to admit what we've done, and that we need Him. That's what repentance is for, that's why God calls us to it. It's not because God needs the apology. God doesn't "need" anything. No, the repenting part is for us. It's to keep our hearts soft and teachable, and to keep our spirit in tune with God. It's to keep that flow of life giving water coming. Let's put it another way. God is always there, arms open, ready to forgive. It's often our own issues that keep us from running directly into His arms.

The issues that keep us "hiding" are numerous and far reaching. To talk about all of them would make this blog long and I'd lose my more ADD readers. But I can talk about the ones that have directly affected my life.

• Fear-Fear stems from previous experiences. It colors our lenses so that we see everything out of one experience. Fear of rejection tops the list, along with fear of condemnation, both of which are things humans do. God rejects no one, and there is no condemnation in Christ. He outlawed stone throwing a long time ago.
• Father Wounds/Mother wounds- Often the person in authority while we're children colors our view of God. If we had a particularly demanding Father, or experienced abuse, we project that onto God unknowingly. God is the ultimate Dad, the one who played baseball with you and went to all of your concerts. He's the one who accepts you for you, and tells you often that He delights that you're his daughter or son.
• Generational Sins/Iniquity- Often times when we've been raised with something, it's hard to let go of it. The cycle continues for generations until someone breaks it. Whether it's pride, money love, dabbling in the occult, addiction, it's time to break those chains. It's starts with us.
• Lies- Lies about who we are, and who God is. Those lies come directly from God's enemy. He'll lie to us about who we are so that we end up in a sea of self deprication and low self esteem, and he'll lie to us about who God is, so that we fear turning to Him. The only way to rid ourselves of lies is with the truth. That you're beautiful and exactly the way you were planned to be, that God accepts you, that Christ died to cover your sins, and that God waits with His arms wide open. Anything else is simply not true.
• Inner Vows/Judgements- When something happens to us, something terrible, we make a vow. If we've been abused we vow that we'll always be strong and we become so strong that nobody can penetrate us. If we've been hurt, we vow that nobody else will hurt us, and our hearts turn to stone. From one incidence comes years of hurt and confusion.
• Pride. The nastiest of all, and the hardest to get over for me. The truth that I cannot do anything for myself, and that I need God desperately.
• Shame. It's human to err, and we'll continue to do so until Christ comes. But forgiveness is in ready supply, and there's no shame in letting God know you need him.

There are so many more, but these are the ones that I overcome daily. When we recognize what makes us hide we can once again come boldly to the Throne and enjoy it!

God's ready to receive us anytime we want to come. So, are you hiding?